Adult men often have a difficult time making friends. It’s easy to have passive relationships with coworkers, guys at the gym, or even at church, but intentional friendship takes work. This is true for both men and women, but my focus here will be particular to men.
Deep Connections Aren’t Accidental
It’s easy to feel like we’re interacting with people while never going beyond talking about sports, family activities, current events, or the weather. Even in a time when we are connected more through technology, we are connecting less in more personal ways. Loneliness is a real issue, and it happens at all stages of becoming and being an adult.
It doesn’t take much effort to maintain acquaintances and familiarity with people we see on a regular basis, but limiting all relationships to that level won’t bring fulfillment. It takes work, even sacrifices, to go deeper with the people in our life. Sadly, our jaded experiences can discourage us to invest so much into a relationship. It’s a risk when we’re unsure of the investment others are willing to give or if it’s going to work.
Friendship can still sound somewhat intangible, but there are some good ideas proposed about how to define friendship. Aristotle has a good explanation of how he separated friendship into 3 categories. In his philosophy, friendship requires these elements:
“To be friends therefore, men must (1) feel goodwill for each other, that is, wish each other’s good, and (2) be aware of each other’s goodwill, and (3) the cause of their goodwill must be one of the lovable qualities mentioned above” (Nicomachean Ethics)
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